AM I THAT MUCH HAPPIER LIVING IN LONDON?


I've thought, for a long time, to write a piece that comes from deep in my heart in hopes to reach someone out there who's feeling the exact same as me and know they're not alone. Since, the past few months or so, I've found comfort in watching Instagram stories and videos of people who seem to be in the same stage in their life as I am or they are in a better stage in their life where I aspire to achieve some day. 


When lockdown started, it really deteriorated my mental health. I live alone and I decided to stay in London just so I could keep my personal space. I got that alright. 3 months of personal space. I was on furlough for those months and cycled a lot to the parks nearby and took the longest walks just so I could break up my day between morning and evening. Fast forward a further 3 months and my headspace is completely fucked up where I can't physically go back to those places without spiralling into a pit of anxiety ridden emotions. Being alone for that amount of time without human contact is terrifying, you come out of the other side a different person. I think that applies for everyone, it made us all stop and think and it forces ourselves to listen to our body. 



When I was studying in Kent, I longed to live in London. I believed it was what my soul craved. It was the lifestyle I wanted. Everything happened there, there was so much to do. All. The. Time. Since Kent is only an hour away, I used to travel into London with friends for day trips turned memorable nights out and missing the last train home and I always thought, wow is this just a snapshot of the life I'm missing out on? 


It's been a year since I moved. I grew up in a big city anyway and for me, it was only natural to move to a bigger and "better" city with page after page of job opportunities. I often question if I'm actually happy living in London. Maybe it's the numerous other factors that are affecting how I feel about this busy city like going from living with 5 other people to living by myself. It's a drastic change and definitely not the norm in London. 



Post- lockdown I realised a huge part of why I sometimes feel lonely is that London is actually so big that there are events happening at any given time, anywhere. I wouldn't give a second thought travelling 50 mins from one side of London to the other but time is distorted when the destination is a city outside of London, the physical distance plays a huge part.


You get a real sense of FOMO on social media. It had a huge impact on me wanting to make the most of every day, I wanted to do something constantly. I didn't realise this until I went back home to Manchester last month that it felt ok to just stay at home and do nothing because there wasn't much going on in the city, whereas when in London, I constantly see people "living their best life" socialising with their masses of friends somewhere in arms reach. In a way, I'd romanticised the lifestyle of after work drinks, picnics in parks, drunk nights on primrose hill and swimming in the ponds. 


If you follow me on Instagram, you'd probably think I'm already living this lifestyle and I guess I am, I'm guilty also of showing only the highlights of my life, but as humans we always want more. I love London. I love everything it offers. I have a love hate relationship with this neurotic city.  


ALL ABOUT MY NAILS


An ode to years and years of practise with eyeliner has blessed me with a steady hand to paint my nails! It's not just something pretty to look at as it's also a self care mechanism I've developed over the past few months. I find it so soothing putting on a TV show in the background (currently Brooklyn nine-nine) whilst doing my nails. I have a whole board on Pinterest dedicated to inspiration that you can follow here if you wish. I do love going to the salon to get shellac but always find it tedious when it's time to remove them and sometimes I just want funky designs without paying £££ you know?


When I do my own nails I use normal nail varnish, they generally last the amount of time I keep them on for before removing the varnish, which is about a week and a half, since I get bored easily of the same design.


I use NAIL ENVY OPI* for the base, it does absolute wonders on keeping my nails as strong as it can be. If you haven't heard of it before I can agree it is a shocking price for a nail varnish?! Believe me I was the same even when I started to read reviews about this being a godsend. But now that I've tried and tested, I can say it is truly worth it. 

For top coat, I've trialled a fair amount and quite frankly I've found the best to be the ones from Primark. I've bought two different ones from them and both are equally as good! The one I have now is the DAYLIGHT CURING one.

I've bought a lot of nail varnishes from a lot of places, I don't usually buy expensive ones either, they're all usually under £6. When the brush itself is flat, it makes it so much easier to apply and automatically enters my top tier brands for nail varnish.

My favourite brands are:
H&M
& OTHER STORIES
BARRY M
PRIMARK
ETUDE HOUSE